Next to bananas, honey is one of the most awesome foods ever. You can eat it by the delicious spoonful, you can drizzle it on shit, and I’ll be damned if you can’t put a little dab in your hair when you need a little pick-me-up. Okay, not so sure about the last part, but I bet you could. It’s freaking amazing.
Mother Nature hit the jackpot with this one – who would have thought that something made by bees would be so amazingly delicious? I don’t know which end of the bee this nectar of the gods come from – and i don’t care. Because yes…it’s freaking amazing!
Honey will drive people to stealing. No, seriously.
Just yesterday, I’m at work, you know, working. And then I see that HR has sent out an email. Now normally, it’s nothing crazy, just telling us about some meeting that we have to go to or that there’s leftover cake in the breakroom. But THIS email was different – I put it in my top five email correspondance with HR:
A package of honey buns has come up missing from the 5th floor break room. Whoever removed them from the table, please return them! Thank You!
Can you fucking believe that? I don’t know what’s more awesome – that someone had the balls to STEAL the HoneyBuns, or that someone was pissed enough to report the theft to HR.
But back to why honey is so awesome.
Besides being housed in funky squeezable bears, the best things are associated with the name “Honey”. Like your significant other. Like that chain-smoking waitress at that diner by the highway with the kick-ass pie that has a crust brushed with honey. Like honey butter. And, of course, who can forget about the Honey Badger.
What? You aren’t familiar with the Honey Badger? You have to click here and check out this video of the Honey Badger. Which is the most fearless creature on the planet. To quote the Randall who voices this video, “Honey Badger don’t care.” Honey Badgers are all about eating and being badasses.
Honey Badger ain’t scared…Honey Badger doesn’t give a shit. Nothing can stop the honey badger when it’s hungry.”
It’s a freaking Honey Love Fest over here.
I gotta get back to work……AFTER I eat these HoneyBuns.