{"id":25,"date":"2011-05-22T04:21:14","date_gmt":"2011-05-22T04:21:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/746fe719-0894-45b9-b44e-7dd5ee6029ed"},"modified":"2011-05-22T04:21:14","modified_gmt":"2011-05-22T04:21:14","slug":"2-things-im-thinking-of-perfume-ninjas-and-ipads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=25","title":{"rendered":"2 things I’m thinking of: Perfume Ninjas and iPads"},"content":{"rendered":"

And now you are, too. I know we all bitch and complain about things becoming obsolete so quickly. I just bought an iPad last year and they already have a new one out. Sons of Bitches!<\/em> Steve Jobs and I have a love-hate relationship. Though I think it\u2019s only one-sided \u2013 because he totally didn\u2019t send me anything on Valentine\u2019s Day. Unless you count that Restraining Order\u2026.which I do. <\/p>\n

What I am amazed by is things that haven\u2019t changed, for example: <\/p>\n

My DryCleaner.<\/strong> Every time I go in there, same thing happens – I gaze uncontrollable at the clothes-carousel-of-fun. How does he know EXACTLY when to stop to get to my clothes? That technology hasn\u2019t changed \u2013 he just holds down the button and then boom \u2013 there\u2019s my stuff. That dude totally needs to go on Wheel of Fortune. Ah\u2026. Wheel of Fortune. Remember when you got to shop the showcase with your cash? Once you bought the cruise and the furniture, you\u2019re pretty much struggling to get that last bit spent\u2026.\u201dPat, I\u2019ll take the sculpture in the shape of the dog reading a magazines, the board games, and the lamp with the candy dispenser shaped like a locomotive.\u201d What kind of crazy ass sponsors were they getting?!<\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Calendars<\/strong>. Okay, let me preface this by saying I\u2019m not<\/u> one of those people who buys one of those funny animal calendars. You know the ones, with the monkey hanging on tree holding a banana wearing a shirt that says \u201cHang Loose\u201d. First of all, how did they get that monkey to wear a shirt? Second, that monkey doesn\u2019t look like a surfer, so why is he telling me to \u201cHang Loose?\u201d These are questions I\u2019ll need to think about for later. Anyway, back to calendars. Every year, there\u2019s a kiosk in the mall just filled with calendars. Who is buying these? Isn\u2019t everything digital now? <\/p>\n

Perfume Ninjas<\/strong>. You know who I\u2019m talking about. Those crafty people who sidle up next to you at a fine department store and try to hand you slip of paper doused with Eau de 15-minute-Celebrity.<\/em> At least they aren\u2019t trying to spritz you anymore. In the past, if you weren\u2019t watching, they\u2019d sneak up next to you and then spritz you on the arm or the neck. Great. Now you\u2019re involuntarily reeking of Britney Spears\u2026along with an uncontrollable urge to get a bag of Cheetos and a Frappachino. <\/p>\n

It just bakes my noodle that on one hand I can turn the lights on\/off for my house from my iPad, yet I still see people taking film to be developed at the pharmacy. Okay. Bad example. That could possibly be considered “art” (thought most likely just some 80-year-old’s cruise pics….where do they get those giant shrimp for the cocktails?).  But still, you guys have to admit, some industries are totally flying under the radar in the innovation department.<\/p>\n

Strangely, I have a hankering for Cheetos and Starbucks. Damn you Perfume Ninjas.<\/em> If only Steve Jobs could find a way to combine his technology products with puffed cheese snacks – I’m sure he’s already working on it.. <\/p>\n

You complete me, Steve. You complete me. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And now you are, too. I know we all bitch and complain about things becoming obsolete so quickly. I just bought an iPad last year and they already have a new one out. Sons of Bitches! Steve Jobs and I have a love-hate relationship. 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