{"id":20,"date":"2011-08-05T03:24:49","date_gmt":"2011-08-05T03:24:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/16c9c3ef-db73-4bdd-bd10-a81f6d4b1ca2"},"modified":"2011-08-05T03:24:49","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T03:24:49","slug":"ponies-i-shouldve-had-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=20","title":{"rendered":"Ponies: I should\u2019ve had one."},"content":{"rendered":"

Everyone wanted a pony when they were little. Not that I\u2019m complaining. But I\u2019m complaining. Mr. J had a pony. And not just any<\/em> pony\u2026but a miniature<\/u><\/em> pony. That\u2019s like the cutest<\/em> kind of pony you can have \u2013 one that\u2019s the size of a Labrador. Granted, it was really his mom\u2019s pony, but still\u2026 there was<\/u> a pony. Our conversations go like this: <\/font><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cIt would have been cool to have a pony.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Mr. J: \u201cI had a pony.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Me:  \u201cShut your pie hole.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Side note: Other than the pony thing, Mr J is awesome.<\/p>\n

<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

Anyway, I think most kids wanted to have a pony when they\u2019re growing up. Like we were all going to be the Lone Ranger or She-Ra or something. Okay, I know some guys that still want to be She-Ra\u2026and actually, they can pull that shit off\u2026. You\u2019d think the glitter would be overkill, but it\u2019s actually pretty understated. What? Oh yeah. Ponies. <\/font><\/p>\n

Ponies are probably not as cool as you would think, and I\u2019ve given this some thought:<\/font><\/p>\n

1. Feeding the pony<\/strong> \u2013 Unlike the Tina, the llama, in Napolean Dynamite<\/em>\u2026.you cannot feed it ham or chicken enchiladas. Well you could, but then that leads to #2\u2026..literally.<\/font><\/p>\n

2. Cleaning up after the pony.<\/strong> Let\u2019s not get into specifics here. Because we all have to eat lunch today and I hate having to take chili off the table for any reason. Let\u2019s just say, Saint Bernard times 1000. Your pooper scooper may actually disintegrate on you. <\/font><\/p>\n

3. People will want to breed your pony with their pony<\/strong>. It’s the “Pony Circle of Life.” Mr J told me a story that has scarred me – it involved a makeshift ramp and a really long glove. I\u2019ve seen this type of thing on Mike Rowe\u2019s Dirty Jobs (you already know this, because I watch way too much television)\u2026<\/em>and trust me, the miracle of life is so heinous, it will change you forever. As in, you will remember the time BEFORE you saw it (and long for that awesome innocence)\u2026and there will be the time AFTER you saw it\u2026.and, friends, you cannot UNSEE that. <\/font><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure there are many more reasons why ponies would be a hassle that I\u2019m leaving out \u2013 mostly because I\u2019m too lazy to think about it anymore\u2026and I think Hoarders<\/em> is about to start. <\/font><\/p>\n

But all that aside, you\u2019d be able to say \u201cI had a pony.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Shut your piehole, Mr J. <\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everyone wanted a pony when they were little. Not that I’m complaining. But I’m complaining. Mr. J had a pony. And not just any pony…but a miniature pony. That’s like the cutest kind of pony you can have – one that’s the size of a Labrador. Granted, it was really his mom’s pony, but still… … Continue reading Ponies: I should\u2019ve had one.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nPonies: I should\u2019ve had one. - Trendables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=20\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ponies: I should\u2019ve had one. - Trendables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Everyone wanted a pony when they were little. 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