{"id":17,"date":"2011-08-26T03:10:33","date_gmt":"2011-08-26T03:10:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/3b534a7d-d4a7-4d06-88af-8e9ff1bdd2b4"},"modified":"2011-08-26T03:10:33","modified_gmt":"2011-08-26T03:10:33","slug":"speed-limits-are-suggestions-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=17","title":{"rendered":"Speed Limits are Suggestions, Right?"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/font><\/font>No, dudes, I am not advocating speeding…much. Just the idea that sometimes I see “rules” that I’m pretty sure people have just made up. Like those little stop signs in the mall parking lot. I mean, come on, those aren’t even regulation size. I can’t be expected to take that seriously. What are they going to do? Chase me with one of those golf carts? At least THAT’S regulation size. <\/p>\n

Why don’t they let you use the bathroom 30 minutes before landing? Because now that you’ve said it….I totally have to go now. 5 minutes ago … NOTHING. But as soon as that light goes one….it’s on like DonkeyKong and then I can’t think about anything<\/em> else. I think they should do a fake-out announcement, [psyche!] then let you go to the bathroom, and a few minutes later, turn on the real<\/strong> light. That little gem of advice is free, FAA…unlike my first checked-bag.

<\/em>OH and don’t even get me started on why you can’t bring your own candy to the movie theatre. And no, it’s not because it costs $15 to buy SourPatch Kids…it’s because they never have the candy that I want right then. Maybe I’m in the mood for a PayDay? Why? Because those are freakin’ delicious, that’s why. And I deserve a break. Oh wait. That’s for when I want a KitKat. Shit<\/em>. What’s the PayDay slogan? <\/p>\n

Great. This is going to bug me. All. Freaking. Day. <\/p>\n

And then there’s my dry cleaner. You all know that I’m amazed by their whirling carousel of clothes. What is that crazy magic?<\/em> But that still doesn’t explain why they make me pay in advance for one-day service. I’m already having to drop it off by 8am. Are they thinking that I purposely got up early to drop off that shit just to stiff ’em with the bill later? Apparently they underestimate my laziness when it comes to martinizing. <\/p>\n

Speaking of laziness, what happened to all those “no-shirt, no-shoes, no-service” <\/em>signs. Those disappeared around the time those tree-hugging, dirt-munching hippies became beamer drivin’ overfocused yuppies. I, for one, think they should bring those back – but this time, make it “no pajamas”<\/em> signs. I hate seeing faded flannel at 3 in the afternoon. Unless you are Michael Jackson, you can’t wear pajama pants in public. And let’s face it – he WAS<\/u> a musical genius but he was ALSO<\/u> bat-shit crazy. <\/p>\n

Because, for the love of Pete, I had to get dressed this morning to drop off my dry cleaning… so should all those lazy asses. <\/p>\n

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No, dudes, I am not advocating speeding…much. Just the idea that sometimes I see “rules” that I’m pretty sure people have just made up. Like those little stop signs in the mall parking lot. I mean, come on, those aren’t even regulation size. I can’t be expected to take that seriously. What are they going to … Continue reading Speed Limits are Suggestions, Right?<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nSpeed Limits are Suggestions, Right? - Trendables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=17\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Speed Limits are Suggestions, Right? - Trendables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No, dudes, I am not advocating speeding…much. 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