{"id":14,"date":"2011-09-30T12:34:20","date_gmt":"2011-09-30T12:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/99fabb72-1602-44b2-b371-bbbbabb471b9"},"modified":"2011-09-30T12:34:20","modified_gmt":"2011-09-30T12:34:20","slug":"facebook-thinks-im-obsessed-with-pie-and-cursing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=14","title":{"rendered":"Facebook Thinks I’m Obsessed with Pie and Cursing."},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

<\/font>Have you ever looked back at what you post on Facebook? I was actually kinda amused\/somewhat shocked\/intrigued by the abbreviated phrases that I have been spewing out to my friends. Granted, I did this unscientific search on my iPhone, not my computer \u2013 so the screen was small, and it only showed me the first 3-5 words of my posts.
<\/font><\/p>\n


I know that I’m not one of those syrupy sweet posters that talk about love and puppies and rainbows. Neither am I the one putting together a chronicle of my day: (you know who you are)<\/em>\u2026\u201dI\u2019m eating breakfast!\/Driving home!\/ Getting ice cream!\/Taking a Shit\u201d) – let’s hope all those events happened seperately.
 
I have come to the conclusion that I must have Tourrette’s Syndrome or I’m borderline certifiable. <\/font>I figured out that like different food groups, I have different post groups \u2013 and I\u2019m leaving out the boring ones (Happy birthday\/Congratulations\/Glad you\u2019re outta prison). <\/font><\/p>\n

SERIOUSLY: THESE ARE ACTUAL POSTS I HAVE MADE:<\/font><\/p>\n

The Food Group<\/strong> (or commonly known as \u201cI am obsessed with food, specifically, pie\u201d)<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

Best pie.<\/font><\/p>\n

Those cakes are the best!<\/font><\/p>\n

Lemon? That sounds awesome!<\/font><\/p>\n

Pie is awesome.<\/font><\/p>\n

You had me at Burger King<\/font><\/p>\n

An entire food truck for\u2026<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

I have an affinity for quoting REALLY great movies:<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n

220\u2026221\u2026whatever it takes (Mr Mom)<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

Gimme some sugar, baby (Evil Dead)<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

Mooooon river\u2026\u2026 (Fletch)<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

Superfly TNT\u2026that\u2019s all I have \u2026(Pulp Fiction)<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

This. Is. Sparta! (300)<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

I also like talking about people\u2019s mothers:<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n

You kiss your mother with that mouth?<\/font><\/p>\n

Happy birthday to yo\u2019 momma<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

Here are some deep thoughts that I am seriously thinking about needlepointing onto a pillow<\/strong>:<\/font><\/p>\n

It\u2019s all in the knees.
Babies are great\u2026like veal.
Mark Twain speaks the truth.
That may truly blow the commode.
Drinking ALWAYS makes it better.<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

My favorite words are \u201cdude\u201d and \u201cawesome”:<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n

Dude, it\u2019s a dry heat.<\/font><\/p>\n

Dude, that is awesome
Two words: Awe. Some.<\/font><\/p>\n

Finally, I bring you the WTF Category.<\/strong> For the life of me, I can\u2019t imagine what type of conversation I could have been having \u2013 because this shit is wheels-off-the-bus<\/em> crazy<\/em>.<\/font><\/p>\n

                Way to raise \u201cHell\u201dvetica, Mike
                As in, like, crack?
                Are you fucking serious?! 
                You do love Disneyland\u2026
                Was it exorcist quality?
                You got a falcon?
                You\u2019re about to start singing\u2026
                That was so awful\u2026I think
                Well played. Vince. Well played.
                You only have one? 
                That shut is funny. Syphilis you\u2026
                The \u201cchalk eater\u201d\u2026
                Just so klassy\u2026with a \u201ck\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Good to know that these amazing words of wisdom are being saved for future generations. I just hope they enjoy reading them while eating pie. Speaking of pie \u2013 and how my world apparently revolves around it….
I leave you dudes with this post nugget of awesome-ness: “Shut your goddamn pie-hole.”<\/p>\n

I’m sure I meant that in the BEST<\/em> possible way. <\/p>\n

To someone’s mother, no less. <\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever looked back at what you post on Facebook? I was actually kinda amused\/somewhat shocked\/intrigued by the abbreviated phrases that I have been spewing out to my friends. Granted, I did this unscientific search on my iPhone, not my computer – so the screen was small, and it only showed me the first 3-5 … Continue reading Facebook Thinks I’m Obsessed with Pie and Cursing.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFacebook Thinks I'm Obsessed with Pie and Cursing. - Trendables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=14\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Facebook Thinks I'm Obsessed with Pie and Cursing. - Trendables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Have you ever looked back at what you post on Facebook? 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