{"id":12,"date":"2011-10-21T03:16:06","date_gmt":"2011-10-21T03:16:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/c117d523-7627-4815-a046-052b42d34c24"},"modified":"2011-10-21T03:16:06","modified_gmt":"2011-10-21T03:16:06","slug":"stores-are-weird-during-the-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendables.com\/?p=12","title":{"rendered":"Stores are Weird During the Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

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It\u2019s weird going to the store during the day. I\u2019m talking about during the work week. <\/font>It\u2019s like that first time you see your gradeschool teacher at the grocery store. In the produce section. In flip flops. Okay, okay, the flip flops were a bit much, but you get the idea. It\u2019s that kind of weird.<\/em> Anyway, the Mr and I had a Halloween party last weekend, so the week prior, I was at just about EVERY store in town (twice).  And let me tell you, those ladies at Hobby Lobby take their fabric very seriously. They\u2019ll cut you. <\/font><\/p>\n

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No, seriously. They. Will. Cut. You.<\/font><\/p>\n

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I\u2019m not talking stores like Target. Target during the day is pretty much the same as Target at night or the weekends. That\u2019s why we love<\/em> Target. I\u2019m talking about those \u201cother\u201d stores \u2013 you know, the ones you have to go to because they sell specialty items. Like fabric, weird cooking utensils, and clothing with various \u201choles\u201d cut out. What? Don\u2019t give me that look<\/em>\u2026.you know what I\u2019m talking about. <\/font><\/p>\n

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Hobby Lobby and GardenRidge.<\/strong> Sure, these stores look like they\u2019d be all laid back and cool. But they take their crafts REALLY seriously. Kind of like when you\u2019re going to customs at the airport and they ask if you want to declare something\u2026and you totally want to declare that you\u2019re fucking drunk.<\/em> Yeah. They don\u2019t think that\u2019s funny. The TSA was not issued a sense of humor with that snazzy uniform. <\/font><\/p>\n

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But back to Hobby Lobby. Don\u2019t be fooled. They are spry<\/strong>. And not at all sweet. Some crazy lady was buying about 80 different kinds of material at the Fabric Counter to make some bizarre teapot-themed quilt or 500 outfits for her dog. She was waving that tape measure around like a pair of wilty nunchucks. Oh, did I mention she had the crazy eyes. And a long pinkie nail. Which instantly means that she must be a cocaine-snorting-quiltin\u2019-lunatic. I recommend that you steer clear of that geriatric ninja. <\/font><\/p>\n

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Office Supply Stores.<\/strong>  Nobody shops here. They are actually surprised<\/em> when they see you. They also stalk you as you\u2019re walking through the aisles. Because I look like the type of person about to steal a whole mess o\u2019 paper clips. Really? I think I still have the box I stole from work 8 years ago. Take that, Staples!<\/font><\/p>\n

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Malls<\/strong>. I\u2019ve only got 2 words for you: Stroller Patrol. They are locked into a heated gangwar with the Mall Walkers for turf. You can spot the Stroller crowd by their Starbucks while Walkers pack rolled up newspapers. I almost got caught in the middle of a scuffle in front of Sbarro\u2019s. I was scared shitless\u2026but it did smell delicious. From what I can gather, everything from Steve’s Apple Store to the Neiman\u2019s is Stroller territory, if you venture to the end with the Vitamin Store and that weird embroidery shop, then you\u2019re in Walker-ville. I am pretty sure the food court is up for grabs. Don\u2019t be fooled by their Shape-up footwear or the Kenneth Cole blinged out strollers\u2026..<\/font><\/p>\n

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They. Will. Cut. You.  <\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s weird going to the store during the day. I’m talking about during the work week. It’s like that first time you see your gradeschool teacher at the grocery store. In the produce section. In flip flops. Okay, okay, the flip flops were a bit much, but you get the idea. 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